


Midsummer After

by Burgie



Category: Star Stable Online
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 04:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19738021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burgie/pseuds/Burgie
Summary: After the memorial, Eden falls apart. Eden belongs to ZealousDawn. Also warning for major story quest spoilers.





	Midsummer After

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ZealousDawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZealousDawn/gifts).



Eden felt like it should be raining. Didn't it usually rain at funerals in the movies and everything? Jorvik was enough like a movie sometimes that she half-expected the weather to change depending on the situation. And, sure, it had certainly rained when Eden had ridden here with Alex. That had been one of the more somber rides of Eden's life, with her barely holding back tears while Alex cried silently. It just seemed wrong, to see the usually-energetic, exuberant girl so downtrodden. So depressed. But then again, it also seemed wrong to even be here. Nothing about this seemed right. Especially not the sun shining down on her back as she gazed down at the raised stone littered with bunches of flowers. A few of the memorial attendees still stood around, chattering quietly amongst themselves. Eden didn't feel like she had the right to be here, to intrude on their grief. Sure, she was important, this mysterious, fabled fifth Soul Rider with the ability to command the magic of each of the four druid circles, and sure she'd been to Pandoria and back more times than she could count, but... she hadn't known Elizabeth, not really. Not as well as some of the people here. Hell, she hadn't even been informed of the roses ahead of time, so here was everyone, sporting a rose somewhere (even the horses had roses tucked behind ears or in manes or tails or in bridles), while Eden herself wore... nothing except for a nice dress, a nice pair of shoes, and a flowercrown made up of the flowers that Elizabeth had once bade her collect Tears of Aideen from. Part of her wondered if she was, indeed, Aideen, and if there was some irony in the tears now sliding down her face. Tears of Aideen. Yeah. Fat lot of good they did, in the end.

"Eden?" Rhiannon called, seeing Eden making her way away from the ruined church after laying down her wreath and whispering a prayer for Elizabeth's soul, wherever it may be.

"Rhiannon, hi," said Eden, brushing the tears from her face. The rose on Rhiannon's person almost seemed like an accusation, so she raised her eyes up to meet Rhiannon's.

"How are you holding up?" Rhiannon asked softly, bringing her arms about Eden in a hug that almost had Eden sobbing again.

"I don't know if I am," said Eden, her throat too tight. "It's just... Elizabeth..." She could barely breathe, she needed to get away. Fortunately, Rhiannon noticed, letting Eden free of her grip so that she could suck in air, almost hyperventilating.

It had never really seemed real, until now. Pandoria was so much of a dreamscape that it was easy to put things down as just a dream, just some figment of her imagination. Even seeing Elizabeth... explode (even thinking that made Eden recoil and want to run and hide) had seemed like some kind of awful nightmare. It couldn't be real, Alex couldn't have seen- Eden couldn't have seen- Elizabeth couldn't have...

But no. Here she was, at Elizabeth's memorial, and there was even a pink crystal (collected by Alex as a memento) resting on a small stone alter with yet more flowers. Eden wanted to stay, wanted to know more about Elizabeth even as it killed her to only find out about her after the fact, but she couldn't. Every moment she stayed here, Eden felt like she was suffocating. It was too much, way too much, and the world seemed like it was spinning too fast.

"Eden, it's okay, just breathe," said Rhiannon, resting a hand on Eden's wrist. Eden shook her head, more tears spilling down from her squeezed-shut eyes, but things didn't stop happening. Hushed conversations continued to happen around her and, when Eden opened her eyes, she could see Maya rubbing comforting circles on Alex's back and, not far from the ruined church, Evergray was... stroking the neck of a grey mare that Eden had never seen before. But, judging by his solemn expression, she could guess what it was.

"No, it's not," said Eden, her voice still choked-up. "That's Elizabeth's horse, he shouldn't have it, he doesn't even know how to ride, Elizabeth's horse deserves better and I have no one and I don't belong here."

"Maybe you should get some air," said Rhiannon, stroking Eden's back. Eden shook her head, still sobbing so hard that her ribs were starting to hurt.

"I'm outside, though," said Eden, her heart beating too fast, her mind still whirling too fast. "There's not much more air than here."

"You know I meant it metaphorically," said Rhiannon. "The others are all heading to the Midsummer site for a bit of a wake, maybe you should join them? Some nice music and nice company and nicer surroundings might help put your mind at ease."

"Midsummer," said Eden with a bitter laugh. It seemed almost sacrilegious, to celebrate on a day of mourning. But the druids did a lot of things differently. Sometimes, Eden wished that she'd been brought up in the faith. It would have made this whole thing so much easier.

But, despite her misgivings, Eden found herself locating a morose-looking Phoenix outside of the abbey and swinging herself up into his saddle. He always made her feel better, but right now, Eden's hair hanging free around her face now that the flowercrown was gone, left behind for Elizabeth, Eden found that she could barely muster a smile. How was everyone else looking so okay about all of this?

Before Eden rode to the Midsummer site, though, she had to make a quick trip to one of the more 'adult' areas in Fort Pinta (the security guard took care of this, James being too young but not about to miss out on a lucrative business). Luckily, the security guard allowed Eden to take the bottle of alcohol with no questions asked, probably knowing about the memorial and how those sorts of things could affect people.

Now, Eden rode on towards Moorland, her throat already burning after just one gulp of the alcohol. Usually, Eden preferred wine, but she'd need something stronger to get through today. Besides, the Baroness' wine (the only wine that was sold around here, it was the Baroness' 'payment' for selling things and owning businesses on her land) was much too fancy for drinking her sorrows away. It had been so long since she'd done this, Alonso was usually so good at keeping her from doing this, not wanting her to indulge in this self-destructive behaviour. Eden hoped that he wasn't at the Midsummer festival this year.

And Alonso wasn't, at least, not yet. As usual, Ashley, Dylan, Marisol, and Stanislav had gone ahead of him to help with the setup while he stayed behind and tended to a few things. One of which was putting together a picnic basket after hearing that the people in charge had decided that Jamie Olivetree would be supplying the food this year. Alonso didn't exactly get out much but, fortunately, he had a girlfriend who did. And Eden was always ready with a story about what she'd been up to that day or something stupid that one of the Jorvegians had done. Alonso added to these 'storytimes' his own tales of stupid tourists getting into trouble.

Before he left, Alonso decided to give Eden a quick call, hoping that she hadn't defied him (he said so with no malice meant, of course, he just didn't want her to work herself into an early grave) by working even though the other rangers had been there to help out. Her phone went straight through to voicemail, which was concerning. She was probably working, then. He sighed, shaking his head even as a fond smile graced his lips. Oh, Eden, she just couldn't help but work. He kind of loved that about her.

"Come on, Mardy, let's go find our resident workaholic," said Alonso as he saddled up his beloved mare and swung himself up into her saddle. Mardy whickered, pulling her head up from the blueberries around her feet at Alonso's gentle tug on the reins. She started off at a good pace, finally picking up speed once they left the forest and then pounding along the road at the top speeds that Alonso secretly enjoyed.

After an exciting ride there, during which Alonso was glad that his hat was kept snug to his head, Alonso finally slowed Mardy down to a more appropriate walk after riding onto the road that led to Fort Pinta. Mardy tossed her head, a little annoyed at slowing down, but a few gentle pets to her neck and promises of blueberries made her calm down and settle for a walk.

"Afternoon, Marisol!" Alonso called as he entered the area. He dismounted, taking Mardy's reins to lead her out of the way. Not that such a place seemed to exist, with people and horses milling about everywhere. Maybe next year, they should set up a designated area for people to 'park' their horses...

"Oh, Alonso, I wasn't expecting to see you here so early," said Marisol once she caught sight of him. She gave him a brilliant smile, though.

"Well, it doesn't exactly look like I caught you off-guard," said Alonso, looking around at the area that had already been set up for the party. The tables and chairs were lined up in neat rows and laid out with the questionable food that Jamie had brought, the speakers pumped music into the air over near the Midsummer stage, there was a shop set up, a little 'true love' tent, a 'fishing pond', and the benches for crafting flower crowns. And, of course, the Midsummer pole, decorated beautifully with leaves and flowers and crowned with the Jorvik Flag. Alonso felt a little patriotic just looking at it, though his heart sank at the thought that Eden had set all of this up again. "Where is she?"

"Who?" Marisol asked, frowning at him.

"Eden," said Alonso. "I thought she'd be here, didn't she set all this up?" He gestured around them, surprised when Marisol shook her head.

"Actually, she only showed up not long ago," said Marisol. "She looked a bit upset, to be honest. Did something happen?"

"Not that I know of," said Alonso. Now, though, he was worried. Eden passing up on work? Something must be really wrong. And he had noticed that she'd looked a little different of late, almost spacing out a few times or otherwise seeming more down than usual. Quite a few times now, he'd come home to find her lying on the couch staring blankly at the TV. "Where is she?" The question sounded different this time, more concerned than resigned. If Eden really was upset, then... damn, Alonso felt like an asshole. Here he was, making fun of his girlfriend, when she was upset about something.

"She's hiding over there near the fishing pond, behind the sign, I think," said Marisol, pointing. Alonso nodded and walked over there, the picnic basket still gripped tightly in his hand. Though, he didn't know how much a romantic picnic might help now.

"Eden?" Alonso asked softly, seeing his girlfriend exactly where Marisol had said she would be. Though, she'd failed to mention that Eden was hitting the bottle hard. Eden looked up at the sound of her boyfriend's voice, and Alonso's heart twisted at the tears on her face.

"Shit," said Eden, brushing her tears away roughly and setting the bottle down. It fell, but only a few drops spilled out. "Oh, that's empty." She felt empty now, but empty was better than feeling too full of emotion. She didn't know why the tears still leaked out, though. What did she have to cry about? Everything was fine. Elizabeth was dead, but everything was fine. She might die, but everything was fine. Elizabeth had been the only person giving Eden some form of guidance, but it was...

As the sobs bubbled up in Eden's chest, she found Alonso almost crushing her to his body, murmuring soothing words and stroking his hands over her wavy black hair. Eden sobbed into his chest, clutching the back of his shirt. Why couldn't everything be simple? Why couldn't she just be a ranger, working with Alonso, why couldn't she just be normal? She wasn't even human, not really, Evergray had given her that little nugget of wisdom not long after they'd met.

"It's okay," Alonso murmured, but that only made Eden cry harder.

"No it's not," Eden finally managed. "She's dead and now I don't know what to do."

"Dead?" Alonso asked, pulling away to look at her. "Who's dead?"

"Elizabeth, one of the druids," Eden managed, thinking quickly to give a 'simple' explanation without explaining what she was and what she was involved in. Thankfully, Alonso was more of a sceptic, not really believing in Aideen or any of that.

"Were you close?" Alonso asked. Eden nodded, trying to swallow around the lump in her throat. "Eden, I'm so sorry... is this why you've been so depressed lately?"

"Basically, yeah," said Eden, her voice a little wavery. "It happened a few weeks ago, the memorial was today. I didn't expect it to be so hard."

"Death is always hard," said Alonso, cradling her in his arms as best he could. "You know you can talk to me about it, right?"

"Yeah, I know," said Eden, nodding. But she couldn't. Even if he believed, it wouldn't be safe for him to get involved. If someone like Elizabeth could die, then anyone could. Even someone as strong and good of spirit as Alonso. She didn't want to see that spirit broken.

"Is there anything I can do?" Alonso asked. Eden shook her head, her eyes closing again.

"Just hold me," Eden whispered. "Please." It helped a lot more than Eden had expected, being there in Alonso's arms. His touch grounded her, bringing her back to earth. And even though her feelings returned with that, all of the grief crashing back into her, Alonso was her life raft. Her anchor. He wouldn't let her fall, no matter what happened. She knew she owed him an explanation, but hoped that he'd wait. And hoped that it wouldn't take too long, that something worse wouldn't happen before she could tell him. If anything happened to Alonso, she didn't know what she'd do.


End file.
